One of the main things that
kids struggle with during their school years are proper study habits.
Developing a habit can take a couple of weeks, so be consistent, and
implement these ten tips to help them study better.
1. A consistent time and place is best. If your child has a desk,
have them use it to study, and they should study at a regular time each day.
If no desk is available, establish a "study place" to use each time.
2. Studying should begin immediately when your child sits down.
Don't let them fall into other distractions, like answering emails from
friends or doodling. They can do those things later, as a reward for
themselves, when they get their studying done!
3. Help your child plan what they need to accomplish. At the
beginning of the study session, help them write down exactly what they want
to get done (complete two pages of an essay, finish a paper, write a short
story, answer ten math questions, learn a new computer function, etc).
4. Large tasks should be broken down into smaller ones. For
example, if an essay is to be written, the tasks might include coming up
with a thesis, writing a solid first paragraph, planning out the points that
need to be covered, researching those points, writing each section, etc.
5. Keep a "log book" or record of needs to be accomplished in each
study section. Your child can look over it later and be impressed with
themselves!
6. Keep studying supplies in a handy place, like in a shoe box.
Have your child organize them so they can grab what they want quickly,
without having to rummage around.
7. Be aware of when your child starts to daydream, and stop them
right away. Help them concentrate for blocks of time, but be sure to allow
them regular breaks to refresh their brain. Have them try studying for 45
minutes, then resting for 15 minutes.
8. Getting enough sleep is important for effective studying and
remembering. Be sure your child has an established bedtime at a reasonable
time each night. Avoid caffeine a few hours before bedtime so sleep is
uninterrupted.
9. Eating well gives your body and brain the fuel it needs.
Children should eat three good meals a day and should not skip breakfast.
Try to have them eat a balanced diet of good healthy foods and not too much
junk.
10. Exercise will increase memory and study stamina, as well as
making you feel generally more confident. Older children should aim for
three to four exercise sessions a week, doing 20 or more minutes in each
workout session. Always consult your child's physician before beginning any
exercise program.
As children grow into young adults, it's important that we as parents
provide the skills and habits they will need for life. Establishing good
study habits now, will set them up for success in the future!
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Bullying - Both Sides of The
Fence
When Your Child
is Acting Like a Bully
Situation
It has been brought to my attention that my child has been bullying
other kids at school. How can I help him improve his behavior?
Think
about it
At first you may want to blame the other kids, or the adult who brought
the information to your attention. You need to be honest with yourself to
determine the truth in the situation. If your child has been acting in
aggressive ways, you'll want to help your child have more positive
interactions with other children. Your child needs you on his side right now
to help him learn how to control his own behavior.
Solution #1: Instead talk about specific incidents. Ask helpful
questions to determine the reasons for your child's behavior. Brainstorm
with him a variety of options he would have as an alternative to being
rough. Help him learn new ways to handle the conflicts that arise with other
children. Use role-play to help your child practice new ways of responding
to other children.
Solution #2: If possible, arrange to have your child spend some time
with an older, responsible child. If you don't have any close family members
or friends that fit the bill, look into a Big Brother or Big Sister program.
It may help to find a mentor for your child who can teach good social skills
by example.
Solution #3: If you must discipline a child for a specific act, such
as punching another child at school, use discretion when deciding on a
consequence. Yelling, hitting or harsh punishment will only encourage your
child to continue his own aggressive behavior. Instead, look for
constructive consequences, such as assigning chores at home, or writing a
note of apology to the child who was hurt.
Solution #4: Discourage your child from spending time with friends
who behave in aggressive ways. (See: Friends, inappropriate choice of.)
Encourage your child to become involved in an organized youth activity.
Participation in a team or group often gives a child the social experience
he may be lacking. Another option is to enroll him in one of the social
skills classes that are now appearing in schools, churches and hospitals.
Solution #5: Enroll your child in a quality martial arts school.
Visit the school first and watch a few classes in action before you mention
the idea to your child. Choose a program with smaller class sizes. An
authentic program will teach restraint, respect, and self-control. A good
martial arts teacher will convey a quiet, reserved confidence. Talk with the
teacher in advance of classes to let him know your concerns about your
child's behavior, and what you are looking to achieve with the class. An
experienced teacher should make you feel confident that you are making the
right choice for your child. This may be just what your child needs to learn
to control his physical power, and to develop self-discipline. (And it's
heartwarming to see your child bow to the master and hear him end every
sentence with a hearty "Sir" or "Ma'am"!)
Special Note: If your child displays a continuing pattern of
aggression he may display other negative behaviors as well. He may display
signs of low self-esteem, have problems in school, spend excessive time
alone, and have a hard time controlling his anger. If this were the case, it
would be wise to seek professional counseling for your child, so that the
reason for the behavior can be discovered, and the child can learn to
control his emotions and learn to succeed socially.
When Your Child is
the Victim of a Bully
Situation
A bully is picking on my child. What can I do to stop this?
Think about it
As much as you'd like to step in and solve this problem yourself, it's
probably in your child's best interest to teach him how to solve the
problem. Once he's learned the skills to stand up for himself he can use
them in other life situations.
Solution #1: Teach your child how to respond to a bully in a bold
assertive way. Practice with him at home in a role-play situation.
Demonstrate the difference between cowering and whispering, "Oh, go away,
please leave me alone." versus standing tall, using a deep, loud, voice and
saying with authority, "LEAVE ME ALONE!"
Solution #2: Suggest that your child stick with two or more other
children when at the playground, the bus stop or wherever he comes face to
face with the bully.
Solution #3: If the bully problem is at school, tell your child that
if he's not successful in fending the bully off on his own it's okay to ask
for help from a teacher or playground attendant. Rehearse with him what to
say when he approaches an adult for help so he doesn't sound like he's
whining or tattling. "Excuse me, Mr. Watanabe, but Jason keeps chasing me
and throwing stones at me. I've asked him to stop but he won't." If your
child practices saying this at home he will come across sounding confidant
and will more likely get assistance from the teacher.
Solution #4: Teach your child to turn and walk away from a child who
is being a verbal bully, without so much as a word. Being ignored may cause
the bully to give up.
Solution #5: Determine if your child has healthy friendships with
other children. If your child is a regular victim and doesn't have many
friends, she can benefit by developing better social skills. Encourage your
child to invite friends over to your home or to invite them to accompany you
on an outing.
Special Note: If your child tries many different approaches but is
continually harassed by a bully, or if the bully is physically aggressive,
you may need to step in. It is rarely, if ever, effective to approach the
bully or his parent's directly. Instead, approach the school principal or
other person in a position of authority. If you lose your temper and yell,
it will be unlikely you'll get the help you need. Instead, take the time to
think about what you will cover in the meeting, and call ahead for an
appointment. Outline the specific behaviors that you are concerned with,
review the tactics you have used to try to stop the behavior, and have
several suggested solutions in mind. Approach the principal with a calm,
matter-of-fact attitude and you should be able to put together a plan to
control the situation.
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It's Elementary My Dear
Helping Your Child Look Forward to School
"I
hate school!" No parent wants to hear their third grade daughter yell out
these words on a regular basis. Your first grader conveniently forgets to
bring home his homework every day of the week. Your 10 year old daughter
complains every morning that she is too tired to go to school.
These are all very real roadblocks that parents just like you encounter on a
daily basis. There are some steps you can take to help your child look
forward to school each day, rather than loathe the mere thought of it.
Check With The School
+
Talk to your child's teacher. Are there behavior issues you are not aware
of? Is your child picked on my other students? Does she act out as class
clown? Get involved, set up a meeting with your child's teacher, the
Principal and guidance counselor. Discuss the problems you are having at
home and find out what is happening at school.
+
Talk to your child. Ask him if he learned
anything new today. Ask about his friends and about the activities on the
playground and at recess. If your child rides the bus, ask where he sits and
why. Try to nonchalantly get the inside scoop.
+
Volunteer if you are able. Your presence alone can sometimes make a world of
difference to your child. If you are too much of a distraction by working in
the classroom, then ask if there are ways for you to help in the office or
in other areas. Just knowing you are there can make a big difference.
+
Volunteer at home. Yes, you too can do homework and send a positive message
to your child through your volunteer efforts. There are many projects that
need to be done for the school that can be accomplished in your home. Work
on these projects after your child arrives home and do your "homework"
together.
Be Positive
It can be extremely trying when a child refuses to cooperate. Try to keep a
positive attitude. Remember who is the grown up and set a good example.
+
Focus on the things your child did right. If her homework is sloppy, don't
criticize the handwriting, instead commend her for completing it. If her
clothes don't match, tell her how proud you are of her for getting ready for
school on time, rather than criticizing her fashion blunder.
+
Listen to yourself. Are you constantly barking out commands and orders? Do
you compliment your child when he is playing nicely with his siblings? This
is such a hard thing to overlook, try to make a point to compliment your
child at least three times a day.
+
Check with the teacher to see if there is something your child can do each
day that would encourage her to look forward to school. There may be a
specific job that is available that would make your child feel more
important and encourage him to want to go to school. Does his class have a
pet mouse or fish? Maybe he can be in charge of feeding and watering it each
day.
Homework Help
If your child seems to be struggling with her homework and doesn't seem to
"get it", help break it down into simpler terms.
+ Use
visuals to help demonstrate how an equation works. For example, if she needs
to add 3 + 3 + 5, find the designated number of objects and line them up on
the table. Use 3 oranges, 3 apples and 5 cans of soup. Ask how many items
there are on the table. Then ask how many oranges, how many apples and how
many cans of soup.
+
If it's reading your child is struggling with, help break larger words down
into smaller words. If he is unable to read the word "boysenberries", place
your finger over the letters "senberries" and ask your child to read "boy".
Then cover "boy" and "berries" and so on.
Learning Disabilities
If you feel your child's frustrations may stem from a learning disability,
talk to the school about observation. Most schools have either an in-house
psychologist or one that visits the school regularly. Ask to have your child
observed while in class. Set up a time to discuss the results with your
child's teacher.
Should the results indicate a possible learning disability, be sure to
consult your pediatrician for any medical or professional advice. Testing of
ADD, ADHD and Dyslexia are now readily available to parents and educators.
Listen & Act
Listen to your children. If you here things such as "Who needs to learn
biology anyway?" that may actually mean "This stuff is way over my head." If
they say they "don't get it", don't insist that they do. Find out what the
problem is and try to help.
The elementary years of your child's education are vital to the way he will
view school in the future. If you are involved and show that you care and
are not just there to criticize, your child will stand up and notice.
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How to Avoid the
Back to School Blues
Getting Yourself Organized
How
many days left of summer? When does school start? Are those the voices of
bored teenagers that I hear, or the whine of frazzled parents? Summer is
coming to a close, and it's time to begin thinking of back to school basics.
No, not the 3 R's, but how to organize your home for the back to school
schedule. Here are 5 tips to help you jazz up those blues:
Routine Matters
To avoid being late for your first day of school, start a countdown 1-2
weeks before school starts to get your kids used to their new routine.
Revert to the old bedtime or create a new one, depending on the age and
development of your child. Maybe your soon-to-be kindergartener can stay up
until 8:30 now that he's a big boy, or your junior high daughter is ready to
stay up until 10:00. They did grow up quite a bit over the school break, and
perhaps it's time to reevaluate that bedtime. But if you think your little
scholar needs more sleep than he's willing to admit, hold your ground and
don't be afraid to be the heavy, enforcing the old bedtime rule. Believe me,
his teachers will thank you, and you'll be rewarded heavily when that first
report card is issued. Kids need plenty of sleep, much more than adults, and
it's our job as their parents to make sure they get it. Let's face it, what
kid (other than Shirley Temple or Beaver) actually tells you when they're
ready to go to bed? My goodness, they just might miss something, and we
can't have that!
Dust off the cobwebs from the alarm clock and set it to the new wake-up
time, or ease the kids into this new routine gradually, by increments of 30
minutes or so. If they've been sleeping until 9:00 am, wean them from late
risings slowly, setting the alarm for 8:30 the first day or two, then 8:00
the next day, eventually working up to the ungodly hour of dawn when they'll
have to start their school day in the fall. (Or I'll send my little early
bird to your house each day - he's been up at 5:30 since he was an infant!)
Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, right? Since your kids are
now getting up before noon, make sure they don't skip breakfast. Help them
get in the habit of eating a nutritious meal before leaving the house for
the mall or rollerblading with their friends. Set realistic goals for you
and your family by substituting cereal and milk for chips & soda, or
prepared sausage/biscuits for fudge and onion dip (ok, I confess that I
really DID have that for breakfast in fifth grade. Leftovers from slumber
parties are too yummy to resist.) I'm no nutritionist and enjoy pastries
with the best of them, but this is may be the only meal of the day you can
control what your kids eat. Make it quick, tasty, and whatever you do, don't
tell them it's good for them! If you need help enticing the younger ones,
grab a copy of Vicky Lansky's Feed Me, I'm Yours. For teenagers, ask them to
make breakfast once or twice a week. It's amazing what kids will tolerate
and even learn to like if they have a hand in preparing it (pride is a very
strong motivator).
Knowledge is Power
Unless your child is repeating a grade in the same classroom environment, he
will be a little nervous starting a new grade, meeting new friends, and
having a new teacher. Together, learn as much as you can about your child's
new teacher, school, schedule, and curriculum. Visit the school's website,
email or call the teacher (this varies with school policy), visit the school
or classroom, or read helpful books to younger children. The more you and
your child know about his new class, the more control he'll have over those
first day jitters. (Of course, this excludes the first day of junior high
when she spends all morning in the bathroom fixing her hair just so, or the
first day of kindergarten when YOU cry all the way to the bus stop. All bets
are off - sorry Mom and Dad.)
Pack it Up
Although you've heard many of these "be prepared" tips before, they are
tried and true for managing time effectively. Use checklists and daily
routines to prepare for the new day, such as chore charts, filing systems
for papers, and preparing backpack and lunches the night before. If you have
an established system that is currently working, stick with it. But as
junior grows, so do his responsibilities (and allowance). High school is
more expensive than was junior high, and he'll need gas money, clothing
allowance, and (gasp) date money. This is a good opportunity to hold a
family meeting to discuss raising allowance and changing the chore
responsibilities. I know some creative parents who have managed to delegate
their entire chore load to their high school daughter, making Mom available
for tennis lessons and Sister has plenty of money to spend at the mall. A
win-win situation.
Delegates Rule
Mom and Dad are the senior delegates of this assembly. Delegating tasks will
help him maintain the chaos usually experienced in the back-to-school
season. Get the kids to do chores and work together (and then list ways this
can be done, such as ironing uniforms, fixing lunches, clearing breakfast
dishes, etc.). Again, call a family meeting to make it as
non-confrontational as possible. If approached creatively, using rewards or
allowance bonuses, the kids are more likely to contribute to maintaining
order in the house from the start of the school day.
Home Works
Being and staying organized depends heavily on creating a dedicated home
for papers, books, permission slips, homework, etc. Help your kids set up
their first paper management system using manila folders, hanging files, and
a portable filing crate or box. If you have room for their file box, store
it in a central location, such as the kitchen or family room, so you can
easily supervise its progress. Once they've learned the flow of the system,
adding a few creative touches of their own (such as stickers on the file
box, or neon colored folders), it's time to transfer it to your child's
bedroom.
Filing systems are basically the same for students as adults: Hot Files
contain works in progress, Pending Files hold items requiring someone else's
action, and To Be Filed files are self explanatory. Works in progress
include reports, today's homework, artwork, letters to Grandma, and so
forth. Pending files might be the class roster, school schedule, etc. And
the last folder, To Be Filed, holds all the work that is completed, such as
personal mementos and report cards for the scrapbook.
By getting your household prepared for the school season, you not only clear
the clutter and streamline your family's morning routine, but teach your
children the basic organizational skills that they will continue to use
throughout life. Maybe one day you'll get a nice thank-you note from Junior,
but of course this will be written on the back of his credit card bill and
attached to a bagful of dirty laundry and will be written on the back of his
credit card bill.
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Improving Your Child's
Note Taking Skills
Taking
good notes is an essential skill for any student. Good notes help kids study
and learn, do well on tests, and keep track of what the teacher sees as
important. Check out these suggestions for improving your child's in-class
attention and note-taking skills:
Listen actively. If possible, children should think before they write -
but not get behind.
Develop and use a standard method of note-taking including headings,
spacing, short-forms for words, margins, etc.
Kids should leave a few spaces blank as they move from one point to the
next so they can fill in additional points later if necessary. The objective
is to take helpful notes, not to save paper.
Encourage them to write neatly enough that they can read their notes
later, but don't spend too much time on penmanship. Although neatness can be
a virtue, it does not necessarily increase their learning.
Use a large notebook or binder for taking and keeping notes. The only
good thing about a small notebook is that it's easier to carry - not the
main goal here. A large notebook allows them to organize their notes better
and gives them room to write things down legibly (so they're readable
later).
Teach your kids to be open minded about points they disagree on. They
should not let arguing interfere with their note-taking. Suggest that they
write it down, they can always bring up an opinion after that.
Students should ask questions anytime they're not sure what is meant.
They should not write down something they know they won't understand later.
If they don't get it, have them ask the teacher for more explanation. If
it's not appropriate to ask at that moment, have them jot it down in a
different color of ink, such as red, so they can easily refer back to it at
a more appropriate time.
Remind your kids that they do not have to try to take down every single
word the teacher says. It is impossible in the first place, and unnecessary
in the second place because not everything is relevant. They should spend
more time listening in class and try to write down the main points and
important facts. If they are writing as fast as they can, they cannot be
listening as well as they should. While there are times when it is more
important to write than to think, that's not usually the case.
Remind your children to listen for cues from their teacher's voice that
tell them which points are important. Repeating points for emphasis,
speaking more loudly, listing a series of points, and writing things on the
board can be hints that this is important information their teacher wants
them to remember.
Kids should copy down everything on the board. It must be important if
the teacher took the time to write it down. It may turn up on their next
test!
If possible, kids should sit close to the front of the class. They'll
have fewer distractions and it is easier to hear and see important material.
Plus, it makes the teacher think you're child is keener - and yes, that can
improve their chances of doing well in class.
Make sure your child gets assignments, due dates and suggestions
precisely - they should ask questions if they're not sure.
Remember, a little encouragement each day goes a very long way.
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Managing Morning Madness
Are
your mornings rushed, chaotic and disorganized? Then it's time to get
control and make morning a good start to a wonderful day! When your morning
activities run smoothly, and you're out the door on time it can make your
whole day feel better. To create a peaceful morning routine, follow these
steps:
Start your morning - at night!
A real key to smoothing out your morning is to prepare as much as you can
the night before. This means choosing the day's clothing, packing lunches,
gathering homework, signing permission slips and setting the table for
breakfast.
Post a calendar.
Buy the biggest wall calendar you can find and hang it in a central
location. Write down events and appointments for everyone. Use different
color marking pens to code items for easy reading. (As an example: ball
practice in red, carpool in green, doctors/dentists in purple) Keep the
calendar up to date and you'll be more organized!
Create a drop box
Have a labeled box for each family member by the door. Use this to store
shoes, keys, backpacks, coats and anything else that goes out the door with
you in the morning. Plastic tubs or decorated crates make great drop boxes!
Use a morning list.
Sit down and analyze a typical morning. Make a list of everything that needs
to be done. Create a poster-sized list of the standard morning activities
listed in order to be done:
If you have a child who gets easily distracted and ignores the morning chart
- don't give up! Just make a small mini- size chart, laminate it, put it on
a chain and let your child wear it as his "morning necklace"! Your part is
to make a few gentle reminders, "How are you doing on your chart this
morning?"
Check out sleep time.
If your child has trouble getting up in the morning and sticking to his
schedule take a look at what time he or she goes to bed. Without adequate
sleep a child won't be able to follow a morning routine successfully.
Fix problems with a family meeting.
If problems persist take the time to sit down with your children and talk
about it. Let everyone have a turn talking, and then work to arrive at
solutions that will benefit everyone.
Praise successes.
Remember, your words of praise will encourage your children to continue to
meet their goals!
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This
article is for students, especially middle school and high school students.
They have a question and deserve an answer: "What do I have to study this
stuff for? I'm never going to use it." It is also for their parents, so they
might be prepared with an answer to those age old questions when they ask.
Kids growing up tend not to think too much about what the world will be
like in fifty years. This is not entirely surprising, because no one knows
what the world will be like in fifty years. Grownups, however, have seen
many changes in their lifetime, and recognize that the world does change
over time. They know how they were prepared for the changes, and how they
weren't. Parents want their kids to be as prepared as possible for whatever
changes occur.
Some subjects might seem irrelevant to day-to-day living: chemistry,
history, Latin, math, etc. Yet each of them provides a basis for adaptation,
and more important, for creation. When faced with a situation, you will have
the choice of adapting to it, or changing it. That is, being the effect of
it or being cause over it. Being cause requires having the data not only to
understand the situation, but also to envision a better situation and know
the way to bring it into existence.
History, for instance, is not about dates, but about how and why things
happened, both good and bad. What did people do that made things better or
worse in the situations they faced?
Chemistry is not about how many grams of this combine with how many grams
of that, so much as it is about knowing the basic properties of different
materials, and how they interact with other materials and with people.
Latin is not about vocabulary, but about the basic construction of
written communication, which can assist or prevent understanding. Parts of
speech are not some arbitrary system, but describe how to get ideas across
clearly from person to person.
Math is not about formulas, but is a way to think about the physical
universe and its relationships in space and time. Basic arithmetic is useful
for its own sake, as it prevents foolish errors. Higher math, such as
algebra, trigonometry, geometry, and calculus, is useful not so much for
application as for knowing what is realistic or possible and what is a waste
of effort.
Any subject can be looked at in the same way. There is much to learn
about any subject that may have no practical application in your life, but
will contribute to an overall understanding of life. It also turns out that
what may seem to have no practical application will pop up at the most
unlikely moments as being the exact piece of information that helps to solve
a problem. Personally, I have been able to use almost everything I ever
learned in school at one time or another, and if I had learned more, I have
no doubt I would have used that too.
It is well and good to set a course for your life and prepare for that
course as best you can. It is even recommended to recognize that unforeseen
winds might blow you off that course, and you should be prepared to navigate
in unexpected waters. The only way to do that is to study as widely as you
can all the waters that exist, so none are completely unfamiliar. It is only
the unfamiliar which is frightening, so if you familiarize yourself with
these tactics, none will terrorize you.
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